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Nov. 4th, 2013

The wrong chase

"Look at all these beautiful ladies I've wasted my chance with just because I kept on chasing the wrong one."

That's what my mind said when I saw the facebook profiles of the women I supposedly dated long ago.

4 years my dear, and my eyes was all on you. No other woman. Just you. I only flirted with them before because I wanted to get over you so bad. But no, it did not help. It actually never did.

Its funny seeing those women made me slightly regret the wrong decisions I made regarding my love affairs for the past 4 years. I should have dated her. I should have chosen her. I should have been so much happy. My heart should have been in a better place now.

But like what I always say, I never regret everything I've done for her. Only some of it, but not everything. If not because of her, I still wouldn't know how to love myself first before others. I learned all the important lessons of life especially in love because of my experiences with her. The experience was all worth it because it helped me to become a better person.

I just regret the time I wasted chasing the wrong person. Those women were exactly what I needed. They are extremely beautiful, intelligent, appealing and has a great sense of fashion and music tastes. And oh, Did I mention they were also bisexual or lesbian femme? Hahaha! See! They were really the perfect type for a person like me to date. But don't get me wrong, the person I loved was also beautiful, heck if you asked me 9 months ago I'll tell you that she is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my entire life. Hahaha! And she will always be beautiful for me. Always. Just subtract the feelings I've felt for her before :P

Sadly, It was already too late for me when I learned my lesson. And when I finally moved on from her. All the women I liked before already have their own girlfriend/boyfriend *sigh* I really wasted a lot of good chances. But at least now that I'm more mature, I can finally become the best girlfriend to the next person I love.

Oct. 25th, 2011

Best Friends Forever? I don't think so.

hindi dahil masaya ka lang sa college di mo na kami papansinin ng mga highschool friends mo, hindi dahil may boyfriend ka na wala ka ng time para sa mga kaibigan mo :| 

since naging kayo ng boyfriend mo after natin mag graduate ng HS wala ka na laging time sa amin, tinatry ka lang namin intindihin pero palala ka ng palala. pag kami mag yayaya bawal, pero pag si boyfriend pwedeng pwede kahit magsinungaling ka pa sa magulang mo para lang makalabas kasama siya. 

nung tumagal naman sa college, naging sobrang masaya ka na sa mga college friends mo na nakalimutan mo na kaming mga highschool friends mo. kahit kamustahin man lang kami sa fb at sa text, wala talaga. pag yayayain ka namin sa lakad bawal padin kasi ganito ganyan. pero pag nakita mo wall niya puro gala naman gnagawa kasama mga college friends mo.

bakit kami naman, masaya din naman kami sa college ah. kung tutuusin nga mas masaya talaga buhay college natin ngayon kesa sa highschool life natin eh. pero bakit sa ating magkakaibigan ikaw lang talaga ung may pinakamalaking pinagbago? ikaw lang yung di na namamansin, di na sumasama sa mga gala, di na nagpaparamdam.

ganyan na ba talaga kalaki pinagbago mo? kakalimutan mo na agad lahat ng mga kaibigan mo dati dahil lang masaya ka na sa buhay mo ngayon? I treated you as my bestfriend, now I don't know if I could still deserve to be one :| I'm not the only who is tired of understanding you all over and over again. Tatanungin mo kami kung bakit ang cold na namin sayo, well then think again. 


Oct. 10th, 2011


Right now, I'm really REALLY confused that I just want to breakdown and cry but I know doing that would not solve anything. Nevertheless, I don't know why I'm actually crying right now. Seriously, Its been a while since the last time I've cried. I've been very much happy and contented with my life nowadays. However, this confusion is absolutely bothering me right now that my eyes could no longer hold back my tears anymore. Maybe its the tears that I held back from last time I was hurt badly, from the time that I felt sad, lonely, disappointed, from the time my heart got broken again.

Yes, I was really happy with my life since the start of my 2nd year in college. Good grades, Nice professors, Great Friends, Fun Classmates, and Love. Everything just felt so good that I was already contented with my life. However, everything went smoothly except for LOVE.
All of my friends don't know about this because I've been trying to hide this feeling since then. Honestly, I'm more than just hurt with being in love. 

Jun. 4th, 2011



I guess I have to return to this blog since I could hardly express my feelings to anyone these days :)) hahahaha! 

so guess what?

AsHLeY is baaaaack and with a new name and info :)) HAHAHA! 

okaaay so my last visit here was like 2 years ago, when I was still in 3rd year highschool but then I got involved in a "blog fight" with my bestfriend so I closed this blog and erased everything I've posted here =)) I missed those days actually :)) HAHAHA! just kidding! :P 

and well, now that I'm in my 2nd year college, I'll be back in my blog again =)) maybe because everything in my life is getting a lot more complicated nowadays. new experiences, new challenges, new friends, new life and new LOVE :"> and I really missed writing a blog about the things that's happening to me. It was kinda fulfilling back then when I was able to write everything in my blog about how I feel, what's happening to me lately. I don't know but I just missed it. hahaha! 

that's enough explanation now, back to business then :)) 

what's new to me? well here's what's new :))

- I told everyone in my college school to call me "Maxxie" (which my good ol' friends gave me) since I really want a new nickname for college. I didn't want to bring up my "AsHLeY" name again coz that girl, I swear she's EMO :| and I'm not that kind of girl anymore. HAHAHAHA! =)) so yeah, got a new name :P

- since college is really all about freedom, independent decisions, being liberated, I've decided to let myself finally free from this secret that I've been hiding since then. well, I'm..... BI :))) HAHAHAHA! not new right? :)) almost everyone in my old school already thought of me that so its not kinda surprising for them :P however, I wasn't BI for the whole 17 years of my entire life! I have to admit, I was lesbo when I was in gradeschool to 2nd year highschool. became straight when I was in 3rd year highschool. and finally became BI in 4th year highschool up to present :)) HAHAHA! I was actually becoming straight again when I was in my 1st and 2nd term in college but then my college friends confessed to me that their BI so I was like, OMG! I'm BI too! HAHAHA! :))) yep, and I love being that way :)

I guess that's all for now? =)) my incoming blogs would definitely define myself more :P

soo, that's it for now :)) and again, I'M BAAAAAAAAAACK!!! YEHEEEEEEEYY!!! :))))

Jan. 14th, 2009

Last Post... Last Song... :))


I think I got to have only one blog site and make it a permanent one.... and I chose a site that could be more PRIVATE than this one.... :)) No, I won't tell to the public my blog site maybe I would just tell it to my close friends... :)) savvy?

soOo I think this would be my last post for this blog site eh? :))

and LAST SONG... :))

To all the GIRLS WE H.A.T.E x))

By: Sunset Daze


And loves to state the obvious
Your next to me entirely, Let's wait and see


All you can do
It's plain to see entirely, You disagree

No sense of reason, (some think it's true)
No sense of reason, (what do I have to do)
There's no one else


It's crystal clear (could end in tears)
And not something I can feel sure of

No sense of reason, (some think it's true)
No sense of reason, (what do I have to do)
There's no one else


Your next to me entirely, Let's wait and see
Your next to me entirely, Let's wait and see

No sense of reason, (some think it's true)
No sense of reason, (what do I have to do)
There's no one else


Selfish - Sunset Daze</div>


MAINE is my BIG SISTER :)) pero pag nka full bangs... my LIL' SISTER :))
PAUL is my KUYA :))
KYLE is my EDWARD x)) hahahahaha!!

hmmm.... cno pa ba? :)) hehehe.... isip muna ako...  ;p

Jan. 6th, 2009


its been weeks since the last time I've updated my blog... oh well... I just don't know why I'm so laaazy to do this thing..... sigh.... I don't know why I can't seem to post something here again..... everytime I try to type somthing down, my hands seem to move away from the keyboard and do something else instead..... oh well... perhaps I'm gonna take a break from blogging.... goodbye for now!! :))

Nov. 21st, 2008


it's my first time here... and I really don't know how my first post's gonna be... hmmmm... well, I just joined here due to the fact that I want to join all the social networking sites... hahaha!! I'm just bored and I think it's more fun if I join all the SN sites eventhough I'm pretty sure that I could not update them all at once... let's see.... I've already joined friendster, myspace, facebook, zebo, tagged, multiply, vox, last.fm, alivenotdead, xanga, hi5, imeem, skyrock, amie street, yahoo, LJ and many many more to come.. hahaha!! :) if you have an account for those sites please add me... :)) hahaha!! that's all for now... still gonna update my other blog.. haha!!